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 | CCOP |
I joined the Castro Community on Patrol, an organization of volunteers who coordinate patrols through the Castro area in an effort to deter crime and educate people about safety in our community. I went through my first training session, which was a very eye-opening experience. In just three short hours, I had far more respect for our understaffed and overworked police force than before. We are here because the SFPD simply cannot respond to all crime happening in our district, and they are profoundly grateful for CCOP organizing these beat patrols.
My first patrol happens on the 30th, and by then I'll have all of the standard issue and equipment to join my 3 person team. After my first night, I'll explain much more about the team and how we conduct our operations. Quite a few organizations supplied the cash to make this community service a reality, including the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence! Thanks to them, we have radios, orange vests and shirts, flashlights, clipboards, and whistles.
If that doesn't sound like a big deal, it actually is, because there are approximately 120 of us! We are still too few in number, and we need to grow the volunteer service to well over 200. It's tough to find good volunteers and keep them, because after all we are exposing ourselves to risk by joining the patrols. I guess one can say that we're just flat-out crazy. Or maybe it is that some of us have chests that can deflect bullets. :winky:
If you live in the general vicinity and would like to join our beat patrols, send an email to me, or visit our website at www.castropatrol.org.
Lastly, click here for a Quicktime video about CCOP.
... and no, I won't be wearing my stormtrooper armor.
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(By Daniel Culveyhouse | No comments yet | comment here)
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 | One Rincon Hill South |
 | Millenium Tower |
- San Francisco developers have lost their marbles by building 58-story and 54-story buildings.
- San Francisco residents are stupid enough to buy a condo and live on a 58th floor.
- I have become a gym bunny again, losing the flubbery stuff and replacing it with the sinewy stuff.
- The Internet is evil, and it is half of my life.
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(By Daniel Culveyhouse | No comments yet | comment here)
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Suffusion
March 11th, 2007 at 10:06 PM (4124 reads)
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 | Hilary Hahn |
Here are the performances that have touched me in the past few months, each in a very different way:
December:
Erich Korngold: Violin Concerto performed by Hilary Hahn
Zoltan Kodály: Háry János Suite
February:
Robin Holloway: Fourth Concerto for Orchestra (world premiere)
Johannes Brahms: Violin Concerto performed by Christian Tetzlaff
Late February:
Pyotr Tchaikovsky: Romeo and Juliet Fantasy-Overture
Sergei Rachmaninoff: Piano Concerto No. 2 performed by Olga Kern
Sergei Rachmaninoff: Symphonic Dances
March:
John Adams: A Flowering Tree
Tonight:
Ludwig van Beethoven: Triple Concerto performed by the Eroica Trio
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart: Symphony No. 41 (Jupiter Symphony)
Find something pure in this world to suffuse your life with meaning, if you have not already. When tragedy strikes you, or when you must part with someone in your life, it is this one thing that can fill even the widest gaps. For me, it is classical music.
Ludwig van Beethoven: Violin Sonata #5 in F Major, Op. 24:
II. Adagio molto espressivo
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(By Daniel Culveyhouse | No comments yet | comment here)
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 | Pigmobile |
I didn't get a chance to witness either, but there will be plenty more events that will grow my photo albums soon enough. And a few friends demand that some of this year's photo endeavors must include me as the subject. I said "Sure, let me lose this winter flubber first."
Back to the lunar eclipse. How many remember that beautiful night, in October 2004, when we last saw that beautiful orange-red veil over our little neighbor up in the sky? I certainly do, and I was holding hands with someone very special, gazing at it together, moonstruck. As I looked up at the moon tonight, a few hours before it eclipsed, I caught myself wondering if he would see this event tonight and recall our little moment in the past.
If you viewed it and photographed it, then by all means share your photos. Reflect upon the hope that it represents too, for our moon will be our savior sooner than you think— within our lifetimes. By scrutinizing all of our current sustainability problems as well as new ones that threaten our environment, you will most likely agree. The human population explosion on Earth is the single most grim prospect that this delicate planet faces, and there are simply not enough resources on a small planet like this to sustain such a human "infestation." We must proliferate elsewhere, which means we must become a spacefaring civilization. As most of us know, the first stop in our grand scheme of colonizing space is the moon.
 | Your Future Home |
Or is there? China's one-child policy is an attempt to solve its problem with overpopulation, though such a controversial initiative would never take form in Western countries. Its statistical result would be favorable for not only China but the entire world, but unfortunately the side-effects are too adverse to make this family planning policy useful. Add to this the fact that the policy has been tainted by reports of sterilization, forced abortions, and infanticide. In our own country, though AIDS became a disease that our government could attack head-on, it was the years of political blockades and inaction that turned it into a form of population control itself. Most other types of population control also fester with glaring human rights violations, such as sterilization, selective breeding, forced world wars, and worst of all... depopulation.
Don't laugh... there are actually depopulist movements happening right now, aimed at reducing human population to make our species sustainable on this planet for a longer period of time. They are not prominent groups of scientists, and they are very difficult to find and expose. These secret societies which are plotting to eugenically reduce our numbers will hopefully never be able to act upon their sinister ideas, but yet who is to label their efforts as destructive or immoral? From our point of view, killing 5 billion humans is a really shitty deal for us, but it's great for Mother Earth and gives her a second chance. If the scheme for our depopulation were to be a nuclear war and holocaust, then we lose nearly all of our population, but then nature also loses (for several hundred years anyway).
 | Name This Colony |
There's just no doubt that we need to get off this rock, and as I mentioned above, within your lifetime you will see a few of your friends head for the moon and planets, dutifully wishing them safe travels through space, and an exciting life as a pioneer on a new world. One of those friends will be me.
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(By Daniel Culveyhouse | No comments yet | comment here)
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Continued from Part 1.
In the darkest wake, I find strength. In this icy season of snows and sins, against the social torrents of others, I prevail. In an utterly mortal world, trudging and sloshing through heaping masses of clueless sodomites, I have awakened.
Time and time again have I happened upon saboteurs within our gay communities who find it their mission to wreak havoc and unravel the progress that we have worked so hard to make. Before me now stands yet another thoughtless cretin, whose hand brushes away all morality and respect, only for the sake of sexual gratification. Silas, the antagonist of what our community struggles to become, has smeared his odor across men who were partnered, men who are hurt by the unfaithful, and men who in their youth have yet to realize his heinous effect.
A New Face to Add
It was 2006, and Silas had entered the gay scene, and as a new and vulnerable man who shared my home state, I identified with him fairly well. I originally had hoped that Michigan was gentle on him— a luck that did not visit me in that land of churches and factories. One of his first encounters brought him out to San Francisco to pursue intimate relations with an acquaintance of mine. With ill regard, the short affair ended in a miserable failure which soured my opinion of Silas and cast doubts on his character.
Ejected from San Francisco, he began a promiscuous rampage, bouncing from one man to another in a perverted tour of city after city. Most appalingly, I realized the emerging pattern in less than one month: his tricks were all Asian. Three of these were also my acquaintances, all of whom confided with me. With each bearing of this kind of news, I lost all sympathy for Silas, and I stopped communicating with him. In a blatant and shameful way, Silas was fetishizing Asian men: targeting them, meeting up with them, and using them.
I had seriously underestimated the superficial and predictable nature of Silas. Likewise, I had discovered just how completely my impression of a graduate student could be turned. And by the end of the year, I was downright disgusted with this person who so deceived me behind a mask of religion and so-called values. Then this month, while I spoke with my friend Jay, a Chinese-Canadian, I learned that even he had some encounters with Silas. Jay was only a casual romantic interest of mine, yet Silas had tramped around with him as well.
Deplorable Behavior
At that point, I detected yet another pattern. This dug out an ugly truth that I learned last year about my Canadian friend Jay: Jay abuses drugs, though not as wickedly as in the past. I buried this truth and tried not to let it kill my feelings for him, but when he allowed Silas to tramp and trump him, this issue resurfaced. Furthermore, of the many Asians that Silas had been hooking in his grand taste-tour of North America, most of them were egregious drug abusers. I now suspect, though I cannot prove, that Silas has opened his own Pandora's box of illegal substances and was now stumbling down a path toward self-destruction.
In the months leading up to this revelation, I also discovered that as a blogger, Silas had sifted through my network of friends and readers on this site, picked out the Asians, and began dropping comments and flirting with them. Though everyone has the right to do what they choose in a free land such as this, there was one blogger whom he began corresponding with which made me take preventive measures to curb his appetite for young Asian men. Silas' new target was only seventeen (17) years old! This young man had mentioned that he looks to me as a big brother, and I have helped this talented hopeful with great potential and mentored him as he slowly enters this gnarly scene of ours. I specifically cautioned him against unscrupulous lizards who will delude him into believing they can offer the lasting relationship that he really, but in reality are there only to flirt, have sex, then continue onward to the next piece of meat.
At the same time, Silas began to flirt with this seventeen year old, in a sloppy and deplorable manner, for millions of people to see. Not only was this pitiful, but it was downright ILLEGAL. I could hardly believe my eyes when I saw that once again, Silas became the very vomitus of our gay society about which I was cautioning my young friend. Then without any direct influence on my part, this immoral behavior toward my friend magically ceased last week.
The Rancor
He uses his excuse of a "rough upringing" as his bait-and-switch for dropping the guard of his Asian toys. Not only have most of us also suffered a rough childhood which came close to destroying our lives, but his youthful plight is a saga that he has highly exaggerated. These patterns I've seen before, and Silas is certinaly not the first to enter our scene in such a seedy manner. But to continue to pollute our community by tramping and tricking to his heart's desire without regard for crushed feelings or monogamous vows of others is inexcusable, and such actions descecrate all of our attempts to make our gay relationships meaningful. To exacerbate this violation upon our community, sadly enough, I do not sense that he feels any regret or remorse for what he has done, and will continue to exploit a particular ethnic group as his personal cum dumpsters.
No matter our efforts at inoculating our community against the shallowness within, and no matter how effective we are at gaining credibility at large for our contributions to society, gays and lesbians will always be crippled and undone by the vulturous and unchecked actions of people such as Silas. Heterosexuals and family-oriented cultures will always focus on this satyriasis and drug abuse among us, while we toil and fight to squeeze out the tiny bit of dignity we can find in a world that does not yet accept us as the natural brothers and sisters that we really are.
Attraction and Drug Abuse
I am a man who finds all types of men attractive. As I have mentioned in the past, I find beauty and uniqueness in every ethnic group on the planet, including my own. I have dated a variety of these men, and I did not have to learn this, but merely I just had to open my mind and my heart to consider the beauty in everyone. The fact that I sear Silas' name for pursuing Asians to no end may seem contradictory, considering how I mentioned before that we humans cannot control our attraction. I do understand that we are unable to force feelings for people when there is no physical or emotional connection at all, but as a man who once found himself dating only Caucasian men, then selecting only African Americans for three years, then focusing only on Asian men for a few years, I can say that those pursuits of mine were simply flawed and unrefined. More than ever, I can find a genuine connection without regard for a specific ethnicity, height, age, or even income level for that matter.
I tenderly support my friends with interracial relationships, and I do have friends who tend to be attracted exclusively to a particular ethnic group, which is perfectly fine by me. Regardless, these friends without a doubt support and practice my beliefs about the respect and moderation that we should apply to each other through relationships and intimacy.
Trodding further into the sociology of our gay communities, I squall over the problem we face with drugs: My frosty opposition to drug abuse does not mean that I am judging others, but rather I just choose not to associate with anyone who abuses drugs, even occasionally. This hardline approach of mine has actually turned some of my acquaintances around who now thank me for my unwavering attack upon drug abuse and addiction in the gay community.
Afterword
These standards should not transfix you at all. I have been told more than once that I can be an intimidating figure when I take such a rigid stance such as this. Please trust me when I say that I do it to protect us. I am your loyal friend, so long as you are not another Silas. I am your sounding board, whenever this world nearly drives you off a cliff, as cruel and unforgiving as society may be. I am your mentor, if only you will take my heed— a fresh perspective on a world that most certinaly does hold promise for us.
And most importantly of all, I am your equal, whoever you may be.
Herbert Howells: Threnody for Cello and Orchestra (1935)
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(By Daniel Culveyhouse | No comments yet | comment here)
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Wedged within the dead of winter is a friendship— an intimate friendship— that has been poisoned and quashed. Such an unfortunate turn has befallen me before, and though I am largely immune to the personal effects of a falling out, nonetheless I write about the end of what was, and what could have been.
Jay and I met years ago in this fair city of mine, and we both realized the terrific fire in both of our hearts. We communicated it well, but also kept that passion at bay. He lived over 2,000 miles from me, one of many undesirables that both of us knew all to well, namely how hard it can be to nurture an intimacy with so much separation.
Single we both remained, year after year. But the affection and the feelings never disappeared. I kept a secret place in my heart for this graceful, handsome man, hoping to soon meet once again. Jay felt the same urge, yet our distance and our hectic schedules made a reunion very difficult. Yet we both knew that re-igniting that passion once again would result in a reborn intimacy, or perhaps even that rare chance at a true relationship.
Relationships, whether casual or strong, are a constant tug of war in our gay communities, and though some men are lucky enough to find his long-term soulmate, such bonds are constantly threatened by unscrupulous men who simply want some quick sex, recklessly jeopardizing their own relationship in some cases, or trashing a trick's relationship in other cases. While such promiscuity or infidelity is widespread in any culture or social group, gay communities have a particular problem with this.
I recently bore witness to a local acquaintance who was greatly hurt by "Silas," a man from my home state who entered his life, promised monogamy, then only weeks later, tramped around while leaving the guy puzzled and seared, trying to make sense of what had happened. Many of us who consoled him came to the same conclusion: This Silas was inexperienced and had little empathy for the people he was meeting.
Just several weeks ago, I spoke with my friend Jay. It turns out that he met Silas while he visited Jay's city. When he revealed that he began to date Silas, I sat and felt as if my attraction for Jay was being drained and ciphened with each word. As he talked more about how they met, and how they began to casually date, I immediately realized patterns developing in Silas' social behavior. By the time he explained these developments to me, I noticed something distinctly different: My attraction for Jay had vanished into thin air. Jay is slightly older (and wiser) than me, and hence I was shocked that he was so naive as to let himself date a man who represents one of the worst poisons of our gay community.
Jay didn't understand the way I was reacting, and I had to clarify. I revealed that this news just completely removed my feelings for him, something beyond my control. He reassured me that he was well aware of how Silas just came out, and how he probably viewed the whole continent as a big candy store of men— particular types of men. He also reinforced that he was not dating Silas, but rather only remaining friends. Nevertheless, Jay's blind physical attraction for a promiscuous 20-something just repelled me so much, that no more did I long for Jay, nor did I wish to try to visit him as I once did.
By the time I talked with him a week later, late in the evening, Silas had visited him again but also mentioned that he was "friends with him for now." This immediately sent red flags through my being. I sensed that Jay was attempting to feed the attraction of both of us, as well as juggling, savoring, and basking in the attention that both of us were giving. Jay did not accept the fact that my feelings for him had departed, so I bid Jay farewell, and he wished me a good night.
It was over. Silas, through both his reckless lust and his beguiling touch, had indirectly killed a fervor between Jay and me. As if I needed any proof, I just demonstrated once again that desire is something that we can hardly control. If humans had the innate ability to choose their attraction, I probably wouldn't have ended it this way.
Revelation...
Bittersweet enlightenment...
Oblivion.
I invite you to express yourself on unfaithfulness and promiscuity, as well as just how many people that this really affects. Don't be afraid to speak your mind on my story, pro or con. Chivalry and unconditional love are not dead, and I will always advocate the grand meaning of love, in the midst of a world where it has been virtually forgotten.
The second part of this threnody will not be so pleasant. I omitted many details from this story, but these much darker and uglier embers are what I will reveal next. If you can't stomach an unpleasant epilogue, then feel free to ignore the forthcoming entry.
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(By Daniel Culveyhouse | No comments yet | comment here)
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Speechless is her love, yet I felt it as I stood upon the bridge, waiting for her.
With a simple grace, she floated under me and onward toward her port,
Flanked by hundreds of others, swimming under her spell.
Exhalted is her name, and ever radiant is her heart.
She left today, but I am forever in love.
I share with you the Mother of the Sea, the Queen Mary 2.
Charles Koechin: Livre de la jungle:
Seal Lullaby
 | Blazing a Path for the Queen |
 | The Blue and Gold Fleet Prepares for the Queen |
 | A Fireboat Welcomes the Queen |
 | The Coast Guard Loves the Queen |
 | The Queen Mary 2 Emerges |
 | As Big as the Bridge Herself |
 | Behold, the World's Largest Cruise Ship |
 | In All Her Glory |
 | The Queen's Entourage |
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(By Daniel Culveyhouse | No comments yet | comment here)
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So far this week, with swell style and amidst a crazy-busy world that has gone ADD, I have:
- Launched a new website: www.marketsquare.com
- Returned to my four day per week fitness schedule that I abandoned years ago
- Solved my 7-year tax mess with the help of two tax attorneys and wound up with the largest IRS refund I've ever seen.
- Finally got to meet my favorite Noogler over dinner at Old Krakow
- Chose another digital piano which will replace my old broken Roland
- Finished writing a formal complaint that I will file with the State Bar of California
- Volunteered for a neighborhood safety watch program
Two days remain in the week, and as we all know, much can happen in a short while, especially in downtown San Francisco. The French composer Poulenc, very popular in the 1930s, saw it coming, this hyped-up society of ours. Oh, you must listen to his epic double piano concerto, and tell me if he didn't forecast our crazy age of cellphones and Crackberries!
Francis Poulenc: Concerto in D minor for Two Pianos and Orchestra:
I. Allegro ma non troppo
P.S.: Extra bonus points if you can name the two pianists whom I saw perform this concerto live.
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(By Daniel Culveyhouse | No comments yet | comment here)
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On January 20, 2009, exactly two years from today, we Americans will inaugurate a new president. Amidst all the recent news of politicians announcing their interest in running a presidential campaign, Hillary Rodham Clinton has confirmed her interest as well. In effect, they have all formed the most diverse— and the most exciting— circle of candidates the country has ever seen. In the Democratic arena, Clinton is the first woman nominee, Richardson the first Latino nominee, and Obama the second African-American nominee. On the Republican side of the river, not surprisingly, every potential candidate is a white male. The only thing we're missing is a segregationist from Alaska with an anti-gay pastor as his running mate! Or a transgendered Hawaiian... ok I'll stop.
Mrs. Clinton does have an uphill battle to wage against candidates of both parties, and winning the Democratic primary is only the first step. As reported by recent public opinion polls, support for Hillary is only somewhat favorable. There are plenty of Americans who remember the bitter fruits of Hillary's career, namely her past scandals and coverups. There are also some politicians, mostly Republicans on the bleeding right, that absolutely will not tolerate another Clinton White House.
To warm the public up to her platform, she is launching a series of webcasts through her website which begin on Monday, January 22nd. She will respond to questions from people who have R.S.V.P.'d to the webcasts. I've already sent my R.S.V.P., and during the webcasts, I will try to ask Hillary about how she will promote growth in nanotechnology and genetics, particularly in the Bay Area. I revealed a few weeks ago my devotion to research and progress toward the technological singularity, and though she might not be familiar with the singularity, she has already forged views toward the related fields. This is why I want to scrutinize and track how her policies might alter the industries that will affect this future event, so if I am able to pose these questions and Hillary answers, I will definitely report everything!
Also on Hillary's website, she will soon offer a blog which I'm sure will pique the interest of many Xangans. Maybe we should tell her to set up a Xanga account too while she's clearing the air. She's also recruiting folks through her site to raise money for her campaign, and these people are called Hillraisers. This is going to be one hell of a race, huh! If you plan on being a Hillary supporter, simply leave a comment or message with your email address so that I can send you an invite to Team Hillary. Lastly, she will feature a supporter's blog entry as the first guest post on her blog, so you can guess what I'll be busy writing tomorrow!
Her victory is more within reach every day, so long as Republican politicians keep making stupid and costly mistakes, such as allowing Ted Nugent, using machine guns and confederate flags as props, to kick off Governor Perry's inaugural event. And despite all of the damage control that Hillary must manage, the good news for me is that she has proven her resiliency and surprise factor over the years, and I believe that she has a fighting chance to win the White House in 2008. Though I dislike politics, I want to see her win, so this may be the race where I pull my head out of the ground and finally advocate change.
On a classical note, let the fight for the White House begin with some American music by John Adams.
John Adams: Short Ride in a Fast Machine, for orchestra
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(By Daniel Culveyhouse | No comments yet | comment here)
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Atop a ridge of bedrock in San Francisco sits an appealing oasis, one of our smallest but finest parks in San Francisco. I think of Kite Hill Park as a triumph of Mother Nature, rising high above all the "progress" and overdevelopment below. I visited the park today for a short photo study, and I discovered plenty of beauty to behold, but also some caution to heed.
Unfortunately, the park is eroding. Foot traffic and vandals are dislodging chunks of bedrock, threatening the houses below with potential rockslides. I was quite dismayed when I picked up large chunks of rock at the bottom of the access trail. These pieces used to be part of the park, but now it's just rubble to be removed.
Accessing the park was a little awkward. I had to walk down 19th Street, past Douglass, to find a small path on the side of a house. The path turned into a gnarly trail cut through bedrock, hardly an excursion for a dork like me wearing tennis shoes. I reached the top, enjoyed the views, and tried to identify a few of the trees at the top of the hill. Below are the best of the photos that I took. Click any of them for a larger version. While you inspect Kite Hill, why not pair it with a bit of sensuality by the Hungarian composer Miklós Rózsa, from one of his dance suites.
Miklós Rózsa: North Hungarian Peasant Songs and Dances, for violin and piano: No. 1
 | The Gnarly Path
to Kite Hill |
 | Country-like Setting
Above Packed Neighborhoods |
 | It's A Different World on the
Top of Kite Hill |
 | Dusk Slowly Sweeps toward
Downtown San Francisco |
 | Kite Park's Soulful Pine |
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(By Daniel Culveyhouse | No comments yet | comment here)
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