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Rebirth
May 4th, 2007 at 06:21 AM (36824 reads)
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My friend... a stroke survivor, through his implacable will to live, and to defy power that only decades ago would have claimed his life, has conquered his world with one hand. He is recovering rapidly, and just a few days ago, he left a message that brought tears to my eyes. He is returning home, and I will be visiting him over the weekend. This is by far the happiest day of my recent years.
Love,
Daniel Culveyhouse
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(By Daniel Culveyhouse | See the 2 comments | comment here)
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SF's New Self-Anchored Suspension Bridge |
After an entire year of focusing on work, what is finally saving me from social bludgeoning? My closest friend Kevin suffered a stroke and will remain in a hospital for a long time, and that significantly changed me in several ways, which could explain a renewed social life to a degree. Or it could be what I refer to as "Spring Fire," or this particular time of the year where summer hasn't yet arrived, yet our hormones are already trying to jump right out of our shorts. Men seem to hit a testosterone peak in early summer, but that sexy hormone is a very impatient one, especially among us gay men. Hormones sometimes short-circuit our natural seasonal cycle of urges, pumping us full of something we're not ready for, and then we find ourselves ahead of the hormonal calendar while the rest of the world catches up. Aren't they funny, these unannounced and closely-guarded secrets of gay life? All of my friends seem to agree, but they don't refer to it as Spring Fire like I do; some call it "that tingly feeling of summer approaching."
Tingly? Errrmm, well I can make myself tingly anytime of the year. What's their problem?
Rice and Potatoes
This city in particular has so many events in late spring and summer that our neighborhoods all begin to blossom with action, tourism, and hedonism at just about this same time every year. The merry month of May brings thousands of gay tourists to San Francisco, and even more spill into the city during Gay Pride weekend. Maybe it's because of our many scenes, fetishes, and subcultures, all of which have flourished here for decades. For instance (yeah, sorry to pick on these guys again), admirers of Asian men just can't seem to get enough of this city, and these men— usually white guys in their 20s or 30s— visit season after season, forever chasing their hopeless weakness and the night life that feeds it. Not to mention the drugs and sex that are often inseparable from that particular scene of white guys who fetishize Asian boys.
Just an example, that's all. I, on the other hand, love immersing myself in the many facets of any society, but no matter how hard I try, I think I'll always have a rough time forcing myself into the "bear" scene. For straight readers not savvy to the term, a "bear" is a gay male, often in his 30s or beyond, who embodies masculinity in all its roughness, which usually includes plenty of body hair and a belly. It's awesome that our city hosts all those bear weekends, Dore Alley fair, and more events that bring out all the bears of the world, but you just won't find me bonding much with this kind of crowd.
I'm more the kind who gets bored quickly of the same scene, but maybe it is much easier for me since I'm that free and implacable kind of being. I can peer from a safe distance, showing signs of life only when I want, whenever I feel that the time is right. One year, I might settle with all the local bars in the Castro. The next, I might enjoy house parties in the company of classical music fans. The year after that, Daniel the gym bunny is exploring all the dance clubs of the Bay. The year after that, Asian bars, followed by preppy and mixed bars the next year.
Daniel the Manipulator
Before I close tonight's entry, I thought I would revisit a complaint that a reader confronted me with last week. The entry in question was the one from two months back, where you witnessed a very different and very stern side of my personality. It was entitled Winter Threnody, in two parts. Based on plenty of feedback, nearly everyone, particularly Xangan bloggers, stood at my side. But this isn't what impressed me. The honesty is what I appreciated, whether it was praise or scorn, as I always respect everyone's reaction to what I write. Also, I expect nothing less than total honesty from other bloggers, and on Xanga I always know that I have received the most honest and intelligent feedback that I could ever hope for. You men and women of the blogosphere are so amazing to me, and I value constructive criticism just as much as I do anything else.
The person who complained (who did not even read the entry he was complaining about) argues that I should never have posted that installment, and in a very snide and childish manner, he accused me of manipulating my readers into thinking the same way that I do, as if I were brainwashing all of you. His argument is that I wrote the passage in such a way that it was impossible to disagree with me. I am rather offended that this person would view the rest of you as a bunch of mindless barbarians that kneel before the Dark Lord Daniel and bathe ignorantly in a weekly brainwashing ritual. I have said it before: you bloggers are among the smartest cookies on the planet, and everyday I feel honored to make acquaintance with all of you, for you form a creative community that is already shaping the future of humankind. Needless to say, if ever you feel that I am beguiling you in any way, I am sure you would put me in my place, and I would gladly apologize. Feel more than welcome to post your thoughts and let the world know if I had ever misled you in one way or another.
I express myself freely and in the purest way that I am able. Apparently, that purity is not compatible with everyone's inclinations, and I cannot expect it to be.
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(By Daniel Culveyhouse | No comments yet | comment here)
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