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Join me and everyone 'round the world in celebrating Gay Pride! This weekend, the ultra-massive San Francisco Pride is here once again, bound to become possibly the largest ever, with about 250 contingents and floats registered for the parade, and with the street festival sprawling through more city blocks than ever before. The San Francisco Pride's website expects over 1,000,000 total spectators this year, but this is a bit of a whale story. Officials always seem to exaggerate crowd counts— have you ever noticed? Nonetheless, you must not miss it, and if you're standing along the parade route, make sure to scream like a queen when you see my caravan come plowing through! Actually, we're just the Hospitality Group, and there isn't much shock and awe to us. But generate plenty of noise anyway, as this may be my last year volunteering in the parade.
I have one suggestion to throw out there for spectators. KRON4 films the parade year after year, but the network prefers us to be decent and camera-worthy between Fremont and 1st Streets, where they will be filming the parade. Through this single block, let's refrain from stripping nude or engaging in oral sex on the streets, shall we? After all, there will be PLENY of time for all of that later!
With the fanfare out of the way, I wish to make an embattled plea to all gays and lesbians of San Francisco, and others in fair cities with their own Pride weekend. Do remember that there is a purpose behind the celebration of our pride. It's the ultimate expression of our sexuality, but equally important, our dignity. Let us hold true to those values by making this weekend a DRUG-FREE celebration. As boring and unyielding as it may sound, I ask all of you to please join me in my relentless march against drug abuse and enjoy the festivities (and each other!) the NATURAL way.
Granted, this request is usually not very well received, especially among the party hungry and tea dance crowd in my city. To some, I come across as an Amish reverend who finds any fun-loving activity detestable. Untrue! I can have one krunk of a crazy weekend just like anyone else. It's just that I have brought with me from the Midwest my frosty opposition to such self-destructive habits as drug abuse. Am I really the grim-reaper of modern-day frolic for my way of thinking?
Now that I've stepped down from my soapbox and out of the 1st Amendment ring, I demand that you all have a blast, have plenty of safe sex, and share your Pride photos with the rest of the world!
Parade Route of San Francisco Pride
Map of SF Pride's Massive Street Fair
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